I just wrote up an entire blog post that got deleted inexplicably before I could post it. It was a slow process, with lots of waiting for pages to load. The whole time I remained acutely aware that everything that I had just proof-read to approval would most likely be lost.
At most points in time in my life I would dread that exact thing happening. When that first page failed to load I would have given up, resigned myself to failure. Taken it as a sign that I just shouldn't post today. Let it feed into my own laziness and fear of failure to give me an excuse not to try.
For some reason, though, that didn't happen tonight. As the fate of that post hung in the balance, I didn't shut down out of fear. I didn't dread the outcome. I remained quietly resolved to post a blog tonight, no matter what.
Just sitting here writing this is challenging. The loss of the draft elicited a surprising amount of emotions and memories of past challenges that I failed to overcome. Other challenges that I didn't even take on for fear of failure.
Tonight I knew that I couldn't do that. That I had to face the challenge, because my purpose here is to challenge myself as a person and a writer. So, this might not be a well thought out post with lots of links and visuals, it is a post that I created in a moment where I could have accepted defeat.